I’m sure that all of you (as am I) say good riddance to 2020. It has been a challenging year for all of us in so many ways, job, health, family and otherwise. As a psychologist at a psychiatric center I have seen firsthand the additional stresses those suffering from mental illness are experiencing at this time. Even with the vaccine increasingly being distributed, we must maintain our vigilance and efforts to continue to cope with the challenges ahead. 

The American Psychological Association has done a Stress in America survey since 2007. I’m sure it comes as no surprise to you that there is a statistically significantly higher level of stress in 2020 than in any previous year studied including the recession in 2008. Parents of children under 18 report even more stress than others I’m sure especially given the challenges of educating their children. The stress findings also suggest that a vast majority report the following as particularly stressful: the economy, the future, reopening various parts of  society and the lack of information or conflicting messages.

I offer the following recommendations for coping with the challenges presented by COVID. These are not meant to be all inclusive but I believe that they can be particularly helpful at this time.

  1. Adjust your expectations in light of the challenges imposed by this pandemic. Realize that self-care is most important. While we all have many other obligations if we don’t take care of ourselves first we will not be able to do so for others.
  2. Reprioritize. We all have far too many irons in the fire at times so focus on those activities that are the most meaningful to you.
  3. Don’t let others dictate your pace and focus. Only you know what you feel most comfortable with doing. There are some who have not left their house at all during this pandemic while others have gone to work and participated in others activities.
  4. Limit the media exposure and only rely on trustworthy sources. With 24/7 cable news a steady diet will only add both information and misinformation to your stress level.
  5. Incorporate good nutrition. This is important at any time but at times of crisis we often rely on “comfort food” but try to utilize fresh fruits and vegetables, cut back on sugars and processed foods, don’t overdue alcohol intake, etc.
  6. Engage in regular aerobic exercise. While many gyms and other public forums may not be available most people can at least go for walks. If you combine that with hikes in the woods you can get the additional benefit of communing with nature.
  7. Breathe properly in order to relax. People who experience panic often breathe in a very shallow and rapid manner. Attending to your breathing, slowing it down and breathing deeply from your diaphragm are very quick and easy strategies for calming yourself.
  8. Identify, challenge and correct any irrational thinking. Realize that you feel the way that you think and if you place unreasonable expectations on yourself you will only add to your anxiety.
  9. Imagine a safe relaxing spot and give yourself permission to go there. Think of that special time at the beach when you felt most relaxed and get in touch with the sights, smells, touch, etc. The more sense modalities you engage the more relaxing this mini-vacation will be.
  10. Develop and utilize your social support network. Social distancing does not mean social isolation and during times of crisis we need each other more than ever. While we may not be able to see each other face-to-face utilize the technology that we have through telephones, Skype, Zoom, etc. to maintain contact.
  11. Learn to laugh at yourself, don’t take yourself too seriously.
  12. Practice forgiveness and don’t hold grudges. All faith endeavors encourage forgiving others and while we may not be able to forget the pain we’ve been caused, by forgiving others we are able to move on with our lives.
  13. Give yourself permission to take time for yourself and enjoy doing so. All of us need to recharge our batteries from time to time and nobody knows better than you how best to do so whether that be going for a walk, reading, listening to music, meditating, gardening, etc. Don’t be afraid to do so as much as is needed.
  14. Know that resilience is a process of adapting well in adversity and it can be learned. Throughout our history our country has faced many challenges and as a people we have shown great resilience in forging through. Four resilience affirmations that may be helpful include the following: I can cope successfully, I can connect with anyone and everyone, I can overcome stress and I grow from challenges.
  15. Look for opportunities for self-discovery. The enforced  slower pace and greater isolation may give you the opportunity to develop some skills you didn’t know you have – – learning a language, pursuing artistic endeavors, learning to play musical instruments, etc.
  16. Nurture a positive view of yourself. Be the type of person who sees the glass as half-full rather than half-empty. In any crisis there is the opportunity for growth so look for that in yourself.
  17. Maintain a hopeful outlook. The effective vaccines that are becoming increasingly available give us hope that life will return to normal.
  18. Recognize that grief is the total process of reacting to loss, working through feelings, thoughts and decisions toward a successful resolution. It is a five stage process that is totally unique to everyone. Most of us are going through a grieving process in terms of the losses that we have experienced from COVID and give yourself permission to address these.

Successful grief resolution involves: honestly accepting and expressing the pain, talking it out with caring others, recognizing that there is no timetable in terms of how long it will take, become involved in meaningful activities to you, be grateful for your life and have faith that there is an ultimate plan for you.

  1. Focus on something practical you can do immediately to make the situation better. It’s hard to find any organization better equipped than Rotary to meet the needs of others at this special time. Help your club discover new and creative ways to do so and participate as much as possible.
  2. Seek professional help should your condition worsen or is prolonged. If unsure where to turn feel free to contact your primary care physician for suggestions.

Dr. Larry Kubiak received his bachelor’s degree from St. John’s University in Minnesota with honors in psychology and his PhD in counseling psychology from the University of Florida. He currently serves as the Director of Psychological Services for the Tallahassee Memorial Behavioral Health Center, a not-for-profit 50 bed inpatient psychiatric hospital, where he has conducted over 12,000 psychological evaluations in addition to participating in interdisciplinary team treatment planning and case staffing, has led well over 500 community and professional workshops as well as supervising doctoral level psychology students from Florida State University. He has also served as the neuropsychologist for the Memory Disorders Clinic at Tallahassee Memorial Hospital and was involved in a five-year NIMH funded grant to study Alzheimer’s in elderly women.